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Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Flint, Thea, and Eulara facing down a group of cultists who are now charging towards them.
I just whisper, glow motherfuckers, and I, and I cast fairy fire.
They say, wait, you don't run.
Four of the other ones rush forward ahead of them.
They can't hurt me anyway. I'm in the front. Don't worry about it, guys.
In a series of eight scimitar attacks that they rolled with advantage.
The first one runs forward and starts swiping at you,
but you just absorb this energy.
Eulara, out of the corner of your eye, you think you see a dark shadow.
Guys, I think someone's getting away. We have to stop them.
Girl, what you talking about?
Could we just pretend we didn't see you?
We're not going to let you go.
Just going to rip his weapon out of his hand.
Maybe slap him lightly.
So you have a prisoner now.
We take prisoners.
It's a new thing we're trying.
All right, so let's keep going to the sacrifice chamber then, Stefan.
Yeah, OK, great.
And as you step down that way, the jacquorn kick back on.
You guys keep walking.
Eulara, you feel like you hear something behind you.
So I say, did you guys hear that?
Can you hear that?
And I kind of have stopped and am like not totally turning around.
You two don't hear Eulara.
Eulara turns and looks behind her and then looks back.
And she is in a dark, silent hallway.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast.
And I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
And with me today is Tom Blair.
Hey, that's me.
Up first this time around, because Amy's too busy laughing.
I play FlintFirebeard.
And Carla Johnson.
That Amy and her laughing so charming.
Russ thinks so.
I play Eulara Moonbrook.
And Amy More.
I like to mouth the words so long when Russ says the intro.
And I didn't think he noticed until right now.
And I play Thea Amastasia.
I know, but my head is so small in that teeny tiny thumbnail picture.
And then there's the thing called peripheral.
Do I do a lot of head movement?
Yeah, you're real sassy with it.
We're actual play podcast.
If you want to see Amy make fun of me in person,
you can visit our Patreon, Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast.
Boom, we get like a ton new pages.
All the new pages.
Oh, I'm there.
Just a dollar a month.
You can watch these Skype calls or video recordings of the episodes we play.
They're unedited, so they're full of all that gloriousness.
All included.
Russ and I trying to have a conversation.
Just the two of us.
Well, Tom and Carla both get watered at the same time.
It's weird how we did.
OK, now I'm second guessing.
Also, part of our patron patronage,
Patreon, we dedicate an episode to a lovely patron,
who today is Carla and Nap.
I thought it was Carla Johnson.
I think Nap.
Nap.
Nap.
Either or.
Either way, it's Carla.
So she's the best.
Or one of the best.
She's pretty good.
It's all a tied one situation.
Yes, exactly.
Yes. So thank you, Carla.
Thank you for being a patron.
And if you want to check it out, Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragoncast.
Fuck it. Let's play D&D.
Flint, Thea, Stephen.
And Nularaaaa are still walking down the hallway.
If I walk beside him, are we Stephen Wolf?
And Donnie or no Donnie?
That's awesome.
And Donnie.
That's awesome.
Yes, sorry.
Donnie is there as well.
You are walking down the hall that Stephen has said,
where it is leading you towards the sacrifice chamber.
And you are listening to the shaking of the mountain
above you as the japon blares again.
Outside, we see the dragons answering its call
and increasing their ferocity.
They are tearing apart ships and landing and picking people
up and throwing them into the air.
We see the allied forces being torn apart
as the metallic dragons try their hardest to fight back
at the increasing number of chromatic dragons.
Nularaaaa, you appear to be standing in a hall.
And your friends, to you, appear to be gone.
Guys?
Your voice echoes down the hall, more so than it did before.
The sound of the dracorn that you heard briefly is gone.
OK, I'm going to try real hard to psychic link with Donnie.
Can I do that?
Yeah, you sent him there.
OK, because we can communicate telepathically,
so I want to try and send him a message like,
Donnie, I can't see you guys.
I'm gone.
And I'm kind of freaking out.
You're sending this panicked message.
And while you sense that Donnie's there,
he isn't responding in the way that you would expect him
to respond to something so panicked.
In fact, he's humming a little tune inside his head
that says, I wish I could see you.
I wish I could eat Steppen.
He's going to taste so real good.
I wonder if I can eat him very soon.
I hope we stop walking so I can eat him up.
Donnie, Donnie, I'm not with you.
What are you, Donnie?
His song stops, and you hear a voice come from behind you
that says, I don't think they're going to be able to
respond to you right now.
OK, I mean, I guess I turn around to see what I see.
You turn, and you see a dark figure.
Looks like he's dressed in a large black robe that
is shielding his face in shadow.
In fact, he looks like he is entirely shadow.
And he says, Nulara, you've been doing good work for me.
Oh, so you're responsible for this.
And I, like, point at the dagger?
Is that you?
This your work?
You could say that, yes.
Cool.
So who are you?
I am a man of many names.
I've been around a long time.
I've seen many people try to wield the dagger,
and none have done quite so wonderfully as you.
Well, I'd say thanks, but that's a terrible compliment.
I don't want the dagger.
I want to be done.
Also, FYI, your timing is fucking terrible.
We're trying to stop the rise of Tiamat.
Can you press pause on this for, like, a day?
Whatever this is?
You'll be back with your friends in just a moment.
Don't worry.
I feel like we can help each other in this.
The dagger holds a lot of power.
I see you yourself have a lot of power already.
In your moment of need, or your friend's moment of need,
the dagger will be an ally in this place.
And for what?
I can't imagine you're just giving me this power as a gift,
so, like, what's the deal here?
The deal is every time the dagger is used,
my power becomes great.
Now, that may sound like you don't really like it,
because you have yet to succumb to the dagger's will
that some others have previously.
But be it Tiamat or myself, I
feel like there would be more order in a regime brought up
with yourself and me.
Right.
So you're looking for, like, a minion?
No, a partner.
Mm-hmm.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
18.
You, for the first time since you've held this dagger,
feel like what this person is saying
is swaying your opinion of the things
that you have had to do and the things
that you can feel like are being suggested to you.
So I'm starting to feel like he's making
he's talking some good sense.
Yeah.
You told me before that I wouldn't have to hurt
my friends, and I don't want to have to hurt my friends.
You don't have to hurt your friends.
Now or ever?
You won't have to kill your friends.
In fact, your friends can come along with you and us.
Well, as I said, kind of busy right now.
So I'd love some help stopping Tiamat.
That'd be great.
And maybe we can revisit this whole partnership idea
after we stop the end of the world.
That sounds good.
Perhaps I can show you a good will of faith.
And he says, wake up.
And you are back walking behind your friends.
You turn around and you see a skeletal figure
standing behind you in black dragon scale armor.
The skin, due to time, stretched out
over this man's face, long flowing black hair
as he raises what looks like a deadly green glowing sword
towards you.
As he swings his blade down, you get first action.
Well, then I'm going to swing my blade at him.
Fuck that guy.
15.
Does not hit.
Your first hit is knocked down by his sword
and hits the ground.
Guys, we're getting attacked.
You all do hear the clang of the blade as it hits down
and then Nularaaaa call out to you.
So 22, this one.
That will hit, yes.
15 damage.
You strike in and find a break in his armor.
And he says to you, it is going
to be so nice to be able to bring the decimators of dragons
to watch Tiamat rise.
And he strikes down at you.
First one was a 14.
Second one was a 25.
Third one was a 22.
I mean, the second two obviously be amazing.
You manage to parry the first one away
and the second two strikes hit.
One on your shoulder and one on your leg.
You take 30 necrotic damage.
Fuck.
Damn, son.
And you must make a constitution saving throw.
Oh, my god.
20.
OK, good.
Should Donnie go now with me?
I think he was right beside me.
Yes, Donnie can go.
I mean, I'm in the way, so he's not
going to want to breath it.
So he tries to bite.
It's a 10.
He'll try again, but 12.
12 does not hit.
What a surprise.
And are we, how wide is this hall, like 20 feet?
Yeah, sorry, it is 20 feet.
Just needed to know.
I didn't want it.
I can't just take all the damage from this guy.
I don't want to just be the human shield this time.
Back to the top.
It is Nularaaara's turn again.
OK.
Back to the top.
You guys just rolled in an initiative.
Shit.
Sorry, I didn't think it'd be my turn again.
I already shrunk my character sheets.
So I could look at your beautiful faces.
23, and that is 18.
Next attack is a 27.
22.
You are hitting solidly, and it
doesn't seem like the damage that you think you're doing
is being equally distributed through to your target.
That seems right, damn crypt keeper dude.
I'm going to like, sort of, can I back away?
I want Donnie to be able to try and breath weapon him,
but I don't want to disengage and let him attack me.
How's that work?
Well, if you want to back away out of range,
you would have to disengage.
You have taken two actions though,
so you don't have that option.
So if you back away, then he
has an attack of opportunity.
I'm not really into that, so.
What if she just ducked as that fire breath
Yeah, just like flatten yourself on the ground.
That's possible.
There would probably still be a dexterity saving throw.
The skeleton has a turn next though, right?
So if you make yourself prone on the ground,
you'd be like.
It's not a great strategy in the long term.
OK, well Donnie will try and chomp him.
That was an eight, so that won't do it.
Oh my god.
And that was a crit fail, so that definitely won't do it.
Donnie's spooked by the sudden attack and flies wildly.
It is Flint's turn.
Flint, you hear coming from a hall up into your left.
You hear Drake roars.
And you also have Stephen in hand.
So how far away am I from this black armored soul
crepe keeper dude?
You were at the front, so we'll
say probably at least 15 feet.
And then you're another 20 feet from the hallway
where you hear Drake's.
I'm going to shake Stephen a little and say,
like, who the fuck is that?
That's Nergoth Bladeloord.
And what's his deal?
He's one of the originals of the cult.
Oh, an OG.
Yeah, that's what they call him.
Original Greg.
I can't even handle it over there.
Did I notice that Nularaaais attacks didn't
seem to be doing as much damage?
Make a perception check.
OK.
Oh, fuck, that's a good roll.
That's an 18.
Yeah, you notice her hitting pretty solidly,
and you don't really see any sort of usual blood
spatter or anything.
But being that you were just told
that he's an original Greg, it
could mean that he's just super strong.
Do I have more time to talk to Stephen?
How much chatting time does he have?
I'll give you one more question.
What was that other noise we heard up ahead?
It's the Drakes.
New mixtape or?
Feel like you've made that joke already.
Probably.
Probably, yeah.
We just haven't faced Drakes in a while.
It seems like it's fresh again.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe I'll go tell them to.
He starts walking.
I'll go tell them that you mean no harm
and that they should go back to sleep.
Are you trying to, like, ghost your boy to sleep?
That's a 16 deception.
Do I have a roll against that?
Insight.
OK.
Let me just go to my page here.
Insight.
So that's a, ooh, it's a 15.
You feel like he might.
Like, you're not 100% soul, but you
feel like he might just be like, I'll just
go put them back to sleep.
All right, I'm going to, as I move towards Bladelord, dude,
I'm going to throw, like, not overly hard,
but I'm going to toss him down on the way.
I'm going to toss Steppen down.
All right, he is prone on the ground.
And I'll move in to attack Mr. Bladelord.
So that's a 22.
That will hit.
16 slashing damage.
You definitely get the feeling that not all of your efforts
are being rewarded in this situation.
I am going to put my axe away and draw out
my moist tongue longsword.
And I'm going to say moist.
And I'm going to stab at this guy some more.
He says, I welcome it.
So that's a 21.
He's all, like, dried up and, like, corpse.
He probably wants a little hydration.
Who wouldn't in this situation?
It puts the lotion on the skin.
Anyone else.
Any other person.
Anyone else.
You should probably call it the moist maker.
The moist maker.
A little owed to friends, but this is disgusting.
No, Ross is the worst.
Ross gets no love here.
16 slashing damage plus six cold damage.
You feel like that did a little bit more to him.
OK, I'll go for a third attack as well with the moist tongue
longsword.
Oh, that's a crit 19.
Yeah.
OK, so is it all of the dice are doubled, Russ?
Yeah, dice are doubled, modifiers just single.
OK, I'm going to do the D10 plus first for just
the slashing damage.
And then I'll do the 4D6 separate for the cold damage.
OK.
OK, so that's 16 slash.
Mm-hmm.
14 cold damage to go along with it.
He's like, ah, yes.
I feel the.
So cold.
So cold.
Oh, wait.
I am already dead and already cold of heart.
It is Nergoth Bladelord's turn.
And he says, I welcome you, new friend.
And critically fails.
So he just greets him.
What happens to Nergoth Bladelord?
He throws his sword in the air, which is going to flourish.
Waves it around like he just don't care.
And it's like his armor slips.
From the moisture.
From all that moisture.
And smacks himself in the back of the head
from all that moisture.
He says, what?
What vile-ness is this?
And strikes out again at Flint for the first one.
That's going to be a 21.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
20 necrotic damage plus you got to make a constitution
save.
It's very burly.
That's a 19.
Yeah, that's fine.
And he strikes his.
So disappointed, Russ.
And he strikes again with the sword at Nularaaaa
as well, who is still within range.
That's a 19.
Yep, that'll do it.
So that's the nine.
Slashing damage does nothing.
But the 10 necrotic damage, it does.
Thea.
Uh-huh.
Your turn.
Yeah.
That's me.
Yeah.
I'm going to run up and kind of get
to the front of the pack here, bolster my dudes to the side.
I'm going to run up on them, bite them.
Not 20.
I'm not even going to roll.
I'm not even going to roll my second one.
Who cares?
Maximum damage.
That's 12, plus 10, 22, plus 4, 26 damage.
Also, you must succeed on a strength saving throw
or be knocked prone.
That's a 23.
OK, yeah, whatever.
You're not going to take the wind out of my sails.
Hello there.
We're not introducing ourselves anymore because people already
know who I am.
So hi, everybody.
Welcome to the middle of the show.
Hi, you probably know who we all are, not just Russ.
I don't know why he was like, I'm the DM,
so I'm pretty sure.
Carla's for sure waving right now.
I waved.
I know that's why I waved.
Russ waved, and then I waved too.
So many waves.
Thank you for joining us for episode 78
of Dumbgeons and Dragons, a show of good faith.
And if you're liking what we're doing here on the show,
which hopefully you are, seeing as we're on episode 78,
join us on Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumdragoncast,
where you can join our lovely community of people
and get some sweet perks and rewards and stuff.
Like for our $2 patrons, we sent you guys a holiday card.
It's true, and you get a whole bunch of bonus content.
It's different stories with different characters,
and Tom leading some of that, and different games,
and so that's fun.
It's a lot of fun.
And we just had our monthly goog hang,
which was a blast.
Oh yeah.
Always such a fun time.
At that $2 tier, you get to join us in that,
once a month we hang out for an hour,
we talk hot goss, and.
And how right Amy is all the time.
All the dang time.
How right everybody is except Russ, all the time.
And it's just a great time.
So you can go check that out,
Patreon.com slash dumdragoncast.
And if you're unable to do that,
because sometimes, we get it, it's a pledge,
it's a monthly thing.
Totally.
We totally understand.
But there are other things that you can do
to help the show reach more ears,
and grow a little bit bigger,
and some of that includes writing reviews.
Like some of these lovely people
that we're gonna talk about right now,
and tell you how awesome they are,
for telling us that we're pretty great.
Let us tell you how awesome they are,
for telling us how awesome we are.
All right, this was a Facebook review
from a Brad Zimmerman.
He gave us five stars, which is awesome.
Thank you so much, Brad.
He says, I love the Dumb Dragon crew.
Great fun to listen to,
and just makes me want to play, play, play.
I think that's like the goal.
We want people to play, play, play.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
Is this iTunes?
This is an iTunes one.
Ooh, this is an iTunes review.
Apple podcast, Apple podcast.
Get the branding right.
Gosh.
Gosh.
It's like I don't know anything
about that kind of stuff.
This one is by skimborderoc from the USA,
and they say, PCs, NPCs, and DM
run headlong into adventure,
and drum up some of the funniest dialogue around.
Full story segments in every episode,
with minor out-of-character banter.
All of this makes for a great flow,
and easy immersion.
Accidentally homebrew rules
keep things a little soft core,
as well as suited for non-rude Nazi types.
I'm assuming they're made up.
Non-rude Nazi, rule Nazi.
But we don't want any rude Nazis either.
I don't want rude Nazis either.
No, none of them either.
Only those really nice ones.
Only polite Nazis, geez.
I'm gonna take a hard line, guys.
No Nazis.
No Nazis.
Fair enough.
I know, I said it.
Okay, yep, yep.
So, best of all,
no politics.
Grandstanding in the middle of D&D fun.
Yeah, we don't talk politics.
Except right now when we say no Nazis.
Yes.
Not politics?
I don't know.
I guess, but.
Yeah, they kind of set us up there.
Yeah.
Sorry about that, skim border OC.
It's all good.
We won't get too far into it.
And thank you.
My turn, it must be my turn.
Is it my turn?
It's your turn.
Okay, this is also from Apple Podcasts.
It is from Air Sick Jungle,
which I feel like needs like a sweet guitar lick
after that username.
Russ, can you put that in in post or?
Nope, that's even better.
That's so much better.
Please, don't put anything in it in post.
They say, definitely binge worthy.
I'm a fairly new listener and I'm finally caught up
after about two months of solid binging the show.
I love the chapters, but even more,
I love the group's dynamic.
That's us, they like us,
cause we're friends.
Because we pretend we're friends, at least.
We're not really friends when it's happening.
I'm not pretending.
I'm not this good at pretending.
That's true, that's true.
Oh, well, I guess we're friends.
We also want to give a pretty, pretty huge shout out
to at pod candy review on Twitter.
There isn't a day that goes by
that they don't share us to somebody
looking for podcast recommendations.
That's awesome.
So many times.
Sometimes it's like 10 times in a day.
So thank you.
Wow.
Thank you so much.
No kidding.
Thank you so much.
Thank you at pod candy review.
Geez, Louise.
And so if you would care to leave us a review,
we would really appreciate it
and we'd love you so, so very much.
Yeah, can't you just tell by the sounds of our voices
how just unbelievably smitten we are
for reading these things?
We love it.
We love you.
We hope you are awesome for,
nope, that's not a good way to say that.
We hope you're awesome.
We hope you're awesome.
We hope you're doing awesome.
We know you're awesome.
We know you're awesome and hope you're doing awesome.
That's what I meant.
There you go.
See, this is why we're a team
because we pick up the slack
when I don't say things right.
So if you could do that, that would be super great.
Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Podchaser,
Podknife, Facebook.
Podbean.
I don't think they allow you reviews,
but if they do, go for it.
We'll find it and we'll read it because thank you.
Links for everything mentioned today
can be found in the description,
including the Dumbgeons and Dragons Discord
and the Reckless Play Guild Facebook group
where we have joined up
with the End of Time and Other Bothers,
Dark Dice and the Lucky Die
and we talk D&D and we talk the shows
and we have a grand old time over there too.
So you can come get to know us
and we can get to know you
and it's just a great time.
Over the past few episodes,
I don't know if you guys have noticed,
but we've also started making a bit of shift
in the music that we're using.
So a shout out to Scott Buckley, scottbuckley.com.au.
He makes amazing Creative Commons compositions.
Can say that five times fast.
Creative Commons compositions.
That's the one and a lot of them
are perfectly tuned to the emotions
that we're just trying to just harp on
in this last little bit of the arc here,
just like pulling at those heartstrings
and emotional highs and lows.
So go check him out at his website there.
Watch his Twitch streams and stuff
because he's awesome.
Next episode will be out next Wednesday, April 3rd,
but let's get back to this one and see what's going on.
Have a great week.
We'll talk soon.
You hear those Drake barks coming from behind you
and they have entered the tunnel.
Stefan sees them and begins running towards them
and past them.
Peace out motherfuckers, it is gone.
We all knew it was coming, so.
The four Drakes rush towards you
and each of them move to attack you.
Two on Flint, one on Nularaaaa, and one on Thea.
So we'll go Flint. Seems fair.
Two attacks.
One with its bite, one with its death.
That's a 13 and a nine.
The second one.
17 and a natural 20 with its tail.
Tail attack will hit.
Well, of course, because it's a nat 20,
so it would hit regardless, but.
Yeah.
So that's 13 bludgeoning damage that you receive
from that tail.
I will take 10 of that bludgeoning damage, thank you.
Thea.
Yeah.
That's an 18.
Yeah.
And a 23, 22.
Yeah. Yeah.
Seven piercing damage.
Ouch.
I growl.
Four bludgeoning damage.
Jesus.
And Nularaaaa, neither of those would have hit you anyways.
So now there are three Drakes right behind you.
And we're back up to the top.
It's Nularaaaa.
I am going to just attack again with Dragon Slayer.
Oh my God.
It's hard when you have such a small surface.
It's like, I didn't realize how aggressively I unrolled.
You need a little rolling box.
There you go.
Yeah, I do.
I should get something so it's a bit more contained.
That first attack is a 12.
So probably not gonna do it.
Sorry, no, you're attacking Nergoth?
Yes.
Yeah, nope.
Okay, how about a 27?
That one worked better?
That one worked better.
What if you averaged both of them?
So that is 16 slashing six magic.
I'm gonna get Donnie to try and bite a Drake, I think.
Sure.
Rather than the fucking gross dead dude.
Oh yeah.
I put my mess on him, doesn't taste good.
Yeah, it seems like kind of grody.
He rolled a 10 that time, so not great.
How about a 21 though?
Yeah, 21 will hit.
Okay, so that is 11 damage on the Drake.
He takes a big chunk out of the back of this Drake.
Nergoth Blade Lord for his first one
moves to strike Nulara.
27.
I mean, yeah.
And a constitution saving throw
as you take your 20 necrotic damage.
Oh god.
Oh god, this guy's really getting me.
Not good.
Well, that's a seven.
So not great.
Not great, guys.
Your hit point maximum is reduced by 20.
Oh no.
Rude.
His second attack goes towards Flint, 16.
His third action, he is disengaging
and begins moving quickly back down the hall.
Flint's turn.
Okay.
So he's moved about 30 feet down the hall there.
Flint.
Doesn't seem like we're over like how,
can I roll a perception roll or anything
to see if he still looks okay?
Certainly doesn't seem like we're hurting him much.
Condition-wise?
You don't even need to roll a perception.
He's definitely taken a large amount of damage.
There are serious signs of wear showing in his armor.
Roll an insight.
I mean, he could just be running
cause he needs the cardio.
Okay.
Dead guys often need cardio, it's true.
Rule one.
So you figured he's like 30 feet away, 35 feet.
What did you say?
About 30.
So technically out of my reach of 25 then.
Oh yeah, you're slow.
Look at your little legs.
He's not slow, he just has the time.
Little tiny legs.
Yeah, it puts him back at the tee
where you had turned left.
But yeah, he's just outside of your quick walking range.
I mean, this is one of these times
where we let him go so we don't all die.
I mean, I don't know.
I feel like this guy's got some serious like mojo
on his side.
So if we can, but if we are hurting him,
then it's, ah.
Ah.
I'm gonna put you on a timer in just a moment here.
Just having to think here, don't worry about it.
You need a recap of the scene around you.
Okay, well as far as I remember,
there's the three drakes behind us.
This dude has moved.
There are four drakes behind you.
The dude has moved 30 feet away.
Stepping, you kind of see periphery, he has left.
He is no longer in sight.
Makes sense.
Cowards.
Yeah.
All right, I'm gonna use one of my actions to dash.
Okay.
And I'm gonna head back over him
and attack him just a whole bunch.
Okay.
Just a whole bunch.
Also, are we still doing healing searches?
Cause I would like to do one of those.
Yeah, you can do one in every one.
Excellent.
I'm gonna do one right now as I'm heading over there.
Sweet, give me the 12 hit points.
Okay, so with my guest's second action,
cause I burned one dashing.
Yep.
I'm going to attack him.
And that is a 21.
That will hit.
Okay, dealing up my moist long sword here.
27 damage.
He's definitely really not looking good.
Okay, gonna hit him again.
Hold on, you can keep that roll, whatever it was.
No, no, it's fine.
It was a 24 for attack,
but I don't want to do it if that was like,
if you're doing something.
Make a perception roll as you're swinging
this last attack here.
Okay.
That's a critical 19.
You hit him a real hard with this last one,
but then through your back swing,
you see coming down the hall towards you
a horde of zombies.
How far away from me are they?
20 feet.
Okay, as a little bonus action,
am I able to grab that finger bone
and break it in half?
Yeah.
Perfect, I'm going to do that
cause it casts protection from undead on me.
Yeah, perfect.
And I'm going to keep attacking this fucking guy.
Hold on, I have to make sure
that nothing specific happens when that happens.
Way to remember the items that you have.
I'm very proud of you.
Me too.
I'm like, I knew I had it, forgot it did.
Okay, so scroll protection from undead.
You must know,
causing a five foot radius sphere around you
that moves with you for five minutes
or until dispelled.
To enter the sphere or target those
within an undead creature
must make a wisdom saving throw.
On a fail, the creature cannot enter
or target those inside.
On a pass, the undead creature
is not subject to the effects.
So it's got to make a saving throw.
Maregoth Blade Lord is already within that
because you did that.
But yeah, the other things coming towards you
will have to make a saving throw
in order to get at you.
Okay, all right.
But it doesn't turn them away,
which I thought it might be.
No, it does.
Yeah, whenever you move as to force an undead creature
into the sphere, it fails a save,
it's pushed back 15 feet.
Keep reading the spell, Russ.
You gotta read to the end.
So Maregoth Blade Lord, as you crack this thing,
wisdom saving throw, that's a 17.
So he passes.
So he is still within your sphere.
Perfect, because I wanna keep attacking him.
Exactly.
That's exactly what I wanted.
Okay, so that previous attack roll was a 24.
That will hit.
Okay.
25 damage.
Tell me what happens when you kill Maregoth Blade Lord.
Killed original Greg.
I'm assuming that I just completely put all my muscle
into this last attack.
And as the moist long sword, like,
yeah, that's right, Amy.
I gotta keep saying it.
Thanks a lot, Ty.
Does it plunge into him?
No, it doesn't plunge into him.
As it touches him for the last time,
he just kinda crumples into nothingness.
Like there's still a husk,
but it's just kinda on the ground, kinda shriveled.
I like that.
Like an old leather bag.
Yeah.
Exactly, exactly like that.
I like that.
Okay.
Rose imagery happening all over.
That's perfect, I love it.
That's all you can do for your turn?
Well, I mean, I did have the option of an action surge,
but if I don't need to take it,
I'm not gonna take it, so.
I mean, the closest zombie is 25 feet from you.
You have just killed Maregoth Blade Lord.
I'm gonna let the zombies come to me
because I can do that because I've got that protection
and they need to pass the save to get to me, so.
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
Thea.
I'm gonna bite one.
They look juicy.
I'm gonna re-roll, cause I have advantage.
It looks thick with two C's.
Yeah, it did.
Thick.
And that's a 17 plus six,
so I win.
23.
Game over, guys, Amy won.
Game over, I won.
Yeah, roll your damage.
That's it.
My damage is 2d6 plus four.
I mean, I know we can write the story as we go,
but I didn't think we could just say I win.
Would have been such a short podcast.
Seven, and he has to have a DC,
no, a strength saving throw.
Nope.
Yeah, he's prone, motherfucker.
You bite into this drink.
I'm taking a bite out of crime.
And knock it to the ground,
which is a very difficult process for you,
but you managed to do it.
The sound of the jacquorn fades
and you hear the rising groaning yells
of the oncoming zombie horde
as it rounds the corner near Flint.
From behind you, you hear down the hall calls
from humanoid or human creatures
as they move in to fully surround you
in the volcanic halls of the Well of Dragons.
Sometimes the
Some of the music in today's episode is by
Kavin MacLeod of encompetech.filmmusic.io
and Scott Buckley at scottbuckley.com.au.
Sound effects can be found at boomlibrary.com
and at sirenscape.com.
Donnie doesn't know about rhymes.
Yeah, he's not a great rhymer.
No.
And I have seen many people try to wield
Dagger McFuckface.
You didn't say Dagger McFuckface.
No.
No, but he has been referring to it as that.
That'd be really great though,
if you could force him to say that.
I've needed you to kill Stefan this whole time.
It has led to this moment.
Stefan is my nemesis.
Stefan is the key to the whole dagger thing.
McFuckface and Moonbrook, limited.
And when you said Minion the first thing,
I was like, banana.
Banana.
So I'm starting to feel like he's making,
he's talking some good sense.
Yeah.
Great, great, great, great, great, great, great.
I love this game.
I was like, I only like this game
when everything matches my own personal ideology.
Exactly.
Because it doesn't make me be evil.
I do, I don't like it.
Your friends, your friends.
I was gonna say, did you hear this?
I haven't heard it yet.
Exactly.
Dot, dot, dot.
Dot, dot, dot.
You two aren't there, shut up.
Sorry, we miss our time to shine.
That's, that's, that's Nergoth, Nergoth.
Greg.
I can't, that's Greg.
Greg.
That's, that's Nergoth, fuck.
Nergoth, Blade Lord.
Nergoth, Blade Lord, for his first one,
disengages and steps, nope, not for his first one,
that one, dumb.
Dumb, Russ.
Rewind.
It's my turn.
You don't see it as obvious yet.
I don't know why I turned this way
and then spoke to the rest of the room.
My turn.
We have an audience here.
The microphone is right there.
It's my turn.
Is that how we're starting our turns now?
I really like this.
It's my turn.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.